Why Do Nice Guys Start Treating Me Badly?

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And I want us to move forward. I feel so strong and free because I breathe easily when some people struggle just to do that and my body is healthy and I have all of my limbs and use of my senses and I feel supported in doing everything I love to do: dance, work out, play, make love, sing badly , read, smell flowers and aromas, hear music, taste food, act crazy and silly and run around like a maniac, learn, explore, and grow. Rather, it has to do with how my friends approach dating.

I learned a lot from that abd it definitely changed me as a person to better and my relationships have actually been better. And not only are they choosing it… you are allowing and enabling it. I really think that you may have saved my life.

Why Do Nice Guys Start Treating Me Badly?

This sidebar scrolls A community to discuss men We are concerned about ways that men experience sexism, gender discrimination, unequal treatment, double standards, and rigid gender roles in our society. Our goal is to help discuss Men. We want to make the movement big. Men's issues are deflected too often - too many people don't see that men experience discrimination at all cross culturally and in their own cultures. Ways to help the Men's Rights movement grow. If you have an image you want to share, include it in a self post with some commentary. A specific quote or quotes are encouraged. Ideally this is in the form of a question that relates to the text. It isn't to voice disagreement; you can do this in a response and explain why you disagree. I am not saying this about African immigrants nor Caribbean men---they do not treat black women the same way. I think the reason why black women are so undesired or so it seems that way online is the fact that black men in real life and online spout hatred towards black women which is ultimately a projection of self-hatred. And to non-blacks it has the same effect as black lives don't matter because there's still black-on-black crime Why would anyone respect black women if black men don't respect black women. A lot of black males that post online have been immersed in white culture. Basically what I am trying to say is I wonder why any non-black male takes what black males say about black women seriously. I am just surprised that most non-American black males don't recognize it as self-hatred. The irony is most of these black men were raised by single mothers. They hate what they came out of. Because of American history, black men are the most harassed which leads to the most volatile, weak-minded and easily led group of people in America. I am just surprised many white males on here actually agree with Sotomayor. What I am questioning is why black men are seen as hyper masculine when their minds are actually quite volatile and feminine. Black males are very possessive controlling and scary and not in a healthy masculine way whether they are with a black woman or white woman because they are trying to reclaim masculinity that has been lost through oppression. As much as they put black women down. They usually leave their white or Latina wives or abuse them. I don't think that it was a question at all. But I can try and guess the reasons which motivated it. If you are online and visit black sites and communities they often have a pretty strong social justice component these days. At the same time the humour components still seem pretty ignorant of that development. Women do it too, but it's probably still men who do it the most. Cheating is sometimes glorified which is a sort of macho-masculine thing. Words like sidebitch, hoe are part of the vernacular which are strong expressions which have pretty negative connotations in other contexts. Seeing the same communities produce thougths which seem to be so at odds with each other does bring up questions. I will say this - certainly, white culture has a tradition of being more chivalrous towards white women. Black-American culture does have the same historical connection with the idea of chivalry sexism. As a result, black men and women are more likely to butt-heads in an overt manner since black women are more likely to want to keep why do men treat me badly real, and will find the kid-gloves treatment to be more disrespectful than brutal honesty. Also keep in mind that many traditional gender roles are reversed in the black community because of the historic absence of fathers in the household see enslavement, the slave trade, the war on drugs, and mass incarceration. So in many respects women are in charge - especially regarding family life. You might ask a black person in your life for confirmation, or see: Soul Food, Big Mamas House, or Tyler Perry's anything. I think you're missing something. As a young black man do you know who was the group most likely to ignore me and not give me the time of day because I wasnt emulating the rap culture of the mid to late 90s. Black men have grown up in a culture where black women wouldn't bother messing with a guy that wasnt the epitome of the very type of masculinity that they larer turned around and complained about for being hateful of black women. Nope I dont have time for people revising the history of relations between black women and black men to make it look like black women were perfectly innocent victims and black men just came out the womb hating black women for no reason. I think this is a sub for discussing men's issues and experiences, but it doesn't get much traffic so Why do men treat me badly will respond anyway. I am not a black American man. As an outsider looking in I would say black American women are perceived as being unfeminine in their behavior. They are stereotyped as being abrasive, loud-mouthed, confrontational and vulgar. I would also watch The Pruitt Igoe Myth. I grew up in a 90% black city, I am latino. I never dated a black woman, most of the ones I met were unfeminine and I wasnt able to court them properly to arouse attraction from them. Most of my male friends who were black lived with a single mother. They were treated very harshly by their mothers. I think you hit a big point here, Black culture, I would refer to as urban culturelargely lacks strong and loving families. The reason why would call why do men treat me badly urban Culture in at least in the west coast the same culture is prevalent along lots of races and seems to have more to do with multi generational low income families why do men treat me badly just African americas. But I digress, we have removed adult male from low income families, not just drug offences but any acting out like public drunkenness or solicitation, crimes that more affluent males could pay to get out of or in the private. In the case of Public drunkenness, you can simply take a cab home, even if you are out of Actual money, you have credit to pay the cab. In the case of solicitation most actal propositioning can happen online where interested parties are already self- selected. We have a system the make the Poor, regardless of race a target of jail time. How this effects Gender relations in urban cultures. Men and women are disposable, and to deal with this issue, both sides treat each other that way. A why do men treat me badly of things come to mind. First of all, most of what is being asked here is about class more than race. High class black men like the President are not known for abusing women. Secondly, what is really being asked in all this is why black men are not more refined and sophisticated. That is also mostly about class as the majority of black men do not live in circumstances rich in sophistication, their families and peers are more likely to be not just lower class but underclass and therefore less likely to even be exposed to social refinements and sophistication. The real question is how we can get all people including men to be more reasonable and empathic. In my opinion this is because all black people are in subconscious competition with each other and dating someone of another race is a status symbol. Well, the non-black partner is so that gives you a leg up in the rat race. I myself am somewhat guilty of this myself. But to be completely honest, I wasn't every very popular with black women until I grew my hair out and the most of them never seemed interested to befriend me never mind attracted to me. I have really nice curly hair and every woman loves it but black women especially like nice hair like mine, or so I've observed Women of other races have always given me more attention too anyway. It's not the fact that I'm not attracted to black women it's just I don't relate too much with them. I'm completely open to it however if our personalities mesh well. But it's only happened a handful of times. I've mostly only had things for white women. Thank you based god, young thug, Tyler the creator, lil Uzi vert, lil yachty, Denzel curry, famous dex, etc.

And my grandfather was one of them. Forget the fact that I follow the philosophies printed on or in my food and ponder the possibility that some women are more attracted to men who treat them poorly. You do not deserve punishment, you deserve love. Pain and codependency are one in the same. While some women say , they usually end up dating bad boys. I feel uncomfortable with equal relationships.